Thursday, October 18, 2007

Personal Honey

Question of the day: What is the sound of one banjo dueling?

It's Sunday night (October 14, to be exact) at the Austin No Kidding monthly supper at Threadgill's. A discussion about how great the biscuits taste with honey takes place. I finally notice someone at the table has a container of honey. She comments, "This is my personal honey." I respond, "I'm still looking for my personal honey." So another person at the table takes the other container of honey from the table and writes my name on it and puts it in front of me. While my comment was humorous, and the response equally humorous, it does give me pause wondering if my point were communicated sufficiently. Is a container of honey the best life can give me as a soulmate? Do my fellow no-kidders feel that I am only worthy of romancing a container of honey? Are my comments too sharp in that they sting like a bee? Stay tuned for the answer to these and other silly questions.

I saw the movie "The Tao of Steve" the other night on IFC for the second time. I can't say I really like this movie a lot, but the music is good and it's an oddly funny romantic comedy. The Tao of Steve is actually the main character's rules for seducing a woman, specifically:
  1. Be without desire ("Keep your heart at bay...")
  2. Do something excellent ("Be excellent in front of her...")
  3. Be gone ("And then you pull away...")
The premise being that women don't want a guy who is too easy to get - they want a challenge. I find this whole thing rather funny as long as it is fiction. Definitely not the best way to find a personal honey.

I'm battling ants (ants suck) in my master bathroom right now. The way to get rid of ants is to present them with food tainted with ant poison, which they take back to their nest, feed to their nestmates, and they die of poisoning. I've been thinking: What if the Earth and humanity are just a disease or common pest at a microscopic level as part of some larger being? What if bacteria and viruses are simply the ant poison of this larger being who is trying to get rid of us? If so, I'm sure we really piss off that being because we're quite difficult to get rid of... Anyhow, just some deep thought about our place in the universe. By the way, I thought of this way before I ever saw Animal House. Coincidentally, The History Channel just showed a program about a scientist who theorizes that plagues (such as the H5N1 influenza virus) actually originate from outer space and are brought here by comets breaking-up in our upper atmosphere. Interestingly scary this all is.

I'm sorry for the morbid writings tonight. Since becoming aware of the eye problems (see earlier post) and generally feeling blah, I just don't have much upbeat stuff to say. "Sleep tight Mr. Serious. Maybe you'll feel better tomorrow."

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