Sunday, June 22, 2008

American Pie

Someone needs to give the morons doing the background music at Randalls Supermarket a clue.

If it weren't that I already had a basket full of groceries I would have left immediately during what was the saddest excuse for a cover of American Pie that I ever heard: Apparently some turd let Madonna do a remake of Don McLean's American Pie. It was some of the worst crap I have heard lately (even worse than Pussycat Dolls). PLEASE, SOMEONE remove Madonna's vocal cords and send her synth and all her so-called "music" to the sun (NASA would be doing the world a favor). Note to Randalls: Your background music sucks. Either play some Muzak or play '60s music. Playing '80s dance music is not going to shake your snooty reputation. Gads. Should have gone shopping at HEB.

Speaking of bags of crap...

I didn't manage to acquire a Bag of Crap during the Woot-off on Friday. However, I did stumble upon a link in the forums that is a blast, and I must highly recommend it: sidecarsally.com. This site is the creation of Dustin Fox who candidly exposes stupidity and makes fun of it. If you're easily offended, too bad. If not, you're sure to at least get a laugh or two.

I also need to provide a link to a coworker's blog: http://blog.myspace.com/naimis . I should suggest that he use Blogger instead of myspace because the myspace interface sucks. I have this hatred for web sites that assume that I have a 1600 x 1200 display and the whole thing is going to be used for my web browser.

Let's segue from a bag of crap (aka Madonna) to a sheet of bullshit... I have been meaning to post this for a couple of months and simply forgot until I was cleaning out some old papers today... Anyway, someone left this flier on my door earlier this year, and the klaxxons went off on my bullshit detector immediately. Inside, it says, "How does Jesus' death affect you? Why was it the greatest demonstration of love? Will you be counted among Jesus' friends?" I believe I can answer these:
  1. Q: How does Jesus' death affect you?
    A: It doesn't directly. I am always sad hearing about someone dying, especially when they truly felt they were doing so in the process of helping mankind.
  2. Q: Why was it the greatest demonstration of love?
    A: Uhhh...perhaps it wasn't. In modern time, there have been several heroic acts (United Flight 93 on 9/11/2001, for example) that were truly selfless.
  3. Q: Will you be counted among Jesus' friends?
    A: Given that Jesus is not living, specifically not living among us now, I suspect that a friend of his I will not be. Perhaps if he turns up at a computer user group meeting and wants to share a pizza talking about VoIP or SSL VPNs, then maybe we'll hang-out and become friends. If he is planning on turning-up at my doorstep telling me that he's the living son of a deity and expects me to follow him to salvation, then I suspect we'll have trouble getting along.
The flier goes on to say, "You are invited to a special Bible talk entitled 'Who Is Qualified to Rule Mankind?' which will be given at the time and place shown below." Reading stuff like this frightens me. These people have been pretty clear about the direction they'd like to take mankind, and frankly it seems pretty counterproductive and even dangerous.

It is time that we stop wasting our time worshiping a deity we call "God" (that's like naming my cat, "Cat") and individuals who did some great things over 2,000 years ago and start looking at the present and future state of our civilization. Assuming that God created the Earth (and that's a pretty big assumption given the current scientific data), we're (including all you Christians out there) doing a pretty good job of fscking up the planet that s/he created. We're increasing the population to unprecedented levels, sucking up all of our natural resources (and fighting over them), polluting what resources we have left, and acting as though we're always a victim of something. Prayer and worship aren't going to solve these problems. We shouldn't be concerning ourselves with who possesses the qualifications to "rule mankind" and start concerning ourselves with how we can sustain mankind and all of the other life that lives here. If we don't start looking at more sustainable ways of living on this planet, reducing human population to reasonable levels, caring about the quality of what we do and how we do it, and truly being caring and considerate of those around us, then there won't be a "mankind" or anyone to "rule."

Now go out there and generate some good karma. If you must pray, then pray that Madonna stops singing.

1 comment:

Dustin said...

Just came across this post man. Thanks a lot for the shoutout, and I like the site!

-Sidecarsally