Monday, August 25, 2008

My New Policy

To The Telecommunications Companies:

Effective immediately any business that I do business with will need to pay a $15 per month service fee. I call this a Customer Fee and it is a fee that I charge businesses for the privilege of having me as a customer that pays his bills on time, consistently. This fee can go up or down every month depending on how much I have to pay telecommunications carriers in fees above and beyond the posted price for service. If the telecommunications carrier (cable TV, Internet, telephone company, cellular phone company) chooses to indicate on their web site the actual price for their service, before the standard state & local sales tax, and consistently charge that each month with occasional, publicized well in advance, nominal increases for inflation (or even decreases), then I will waive my Customer Fee accordingly.

Fee is based on charges that telecommunications carriers charge and are not federally-mandated fees, and can vary periodically depending on the phase of the moon and the price of pizza for that month. Doing business with me constitutes acceptance to my Terms and Conditions, listed somewhere deep inside my blog (you have to search for it) and it contains so much legalese you'll never be able to understand it anyway. Just figure that when you do business with me, you've given-up all your rights to a jury trial and you are bound to arbitration, and you'll need to come to my hometown for the arbitration. Basically if you don't pay my fee all kinds of bad things will happen, including ruining your credit rating. You are bound to do business with me for a two (2) year period. If you fail to complete your two-year term, then you agree to pay me a one-time EARLY TERMINATION fee of $250. Note that this is a fee and not a penalty (haha ... yeah, really) and is to reimburse me for liquidated damages (which is another word for sour grapes). Even though I've bound you to a two year term, I can cancel this agreement at any time without penalty, because I can.

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