Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Slow Down or I'll Shoot!

There is so much stupidity lately to write about, I'm almost not sure where to start!

I'll start with one from Mary, a good friend of mine: She forwarded a link to an article in the San Francisco News Blog titled, "'Froot' Is Not Fruit, San Francisco Lawsuit Alleges." So why is "disgruntled consumer" Roy Werbel suing Kellogg's? Did he get sick from something he ate? No. Roy is suing Kellogg's because he feels that they intentionally misled consumers because their cereal product is called Froot Loops, and the product doesn't contain any fruit. The article quotes the suit as saying that had he known that "Froot Loops contained no fruit, he would not have purchased it." I guess Roy Werbel was taught using Hooked On Phonics because Froot is not fruit. He also seems to have a disorder that prevents him from reading the ingredient list on the side of the box prior to purchasing the product. This is the kind of thing that is so damned important that it requires filing a lawsuit? So your Froot Loops contained no fruit? Take the damn $5 box of cereal back to the supermarket, or, better yet, throw it out. By the way, I have no issue with Froot Loops. I ate that cereal as a kid, and even I knew then that it had no fruit. It just tastes yummy and is fortified with essential vitamins and minerals and lots of tasty sugary goodness! Fsck you Roy. You could use some sweetening-up!

Then there's my neighbors. We have an Internet mailing list so the folks in my subdivision can keep each other aware of pressing issues in the neighborhood or to communicate with each other. The idea is a good one. However, there are some neighbors I would rather not hear from. Neighbors such as one who only identifies herself through an AOL e-mail address. I am going out of order though... The conversation started with a very good comment and question: In short, another deer got hit by a car the other night and someone asked how we can get the city to install some "Deer Crossing" signs on the road. This innocent question prompted neighbor "A" (for asshole) to a full-blown rant about people driving too fast in the neighborhood. She claims that a person is "doing 50 plus down my street." If that's true, that's a problem. Her solution, "I am all for speed bumps. Frankly, I am sick of this." Nothing like destroying everyone's car in the neighborhood because of one person who is clearly driving recklessly. "A" knows the person's schedule - she could simply have the police come down, and I'm sure they'd take care of someone doing 50 MPH+ on a 30 (25) MPH neighborhood street.

But it doesn't stop there...

About 6 or 7 messages later, someone recalled a story (which began, "I know this is certainly no way to handle it, but") about someone who was tired of a person in a "hotrodded Camaro" speeding down their street to his girlfriend's house. Apparently one day a guy on the street waited for the person with his shotgun, and when the car came down the street, he pulled the gun on the car. Continuing..."The Neighbor went over, pulled the young man out through the window by the shirt and told that if he didn't slow down he was going to use that shotgun on his nice Camaro. Nothing more needed to be said. The young man crept into and out of the neighborhood after that." The reason why the story was told was to indicate that this has been a problem that happened since the 80s.

One response went, "Who can tell us if there's money in the [neighborhood association] budget for a shotgun?"

"A"'s response: "I think nothing of just stepping into the path of the speeding car and telling them to slow down." And it just gets more and more stupid from there.

You may remember my own rant about this a while ago ("Too Flippin' Slow" from 7/31/08). To make a long story short, my gripe was that they lowered the speed limit to 25 from 30 (which I thought was a perfectly reasonable speed limit). Seriously, 30 is fine, and yeah, I still go 30 because frankly I can't see any reasonable explanation for lowering the speed limit except to shut people like "A" up. She probably wouldn't be happy until there were no cars using the street in front of her house (a street that clearly is used to traverse the neighborhood, it isn't a cul-de-sac). Argh.

I'm growing tired of all this. I so want to just bury my head in the sand and pretend nothing is happening, but the last time I did that I ended up with speed bumps in the neighborhood (previous house), and someone took Alpha-Bits cereal off the market. Now I'm sure I've upset some people with my rants about Flash™, but I think I presented it in a way that was constructive and informative. Likewise, I feel that my gripes/frustration with the cable company and some others happened after I clearly attempted to handle things amicably. There are alternatives to Froot Loops that should clearly satisfy Roy Werbel such that suing Kellogg's is frivolous at best. I already presented an alternative to "A" and some of the other fans-of-"A" in my neighborhood that preclude the installation of speed bumps.

The stupidity I encounter in my life is a grim reminder of why things in society today are so screwed-up.

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